The best way I can describe myself is that I have often felt like an old man in a young man’s body. This is a more influential and truly frightening revelation than it may at first appear. When one is surrounded by people who all seem to share a different view of music, movies, hobbies, and social activities, alienation and ostracism is unavoidable. This is not to say that I didn’t have a group of friends or that I found everything my peers did to be annoying or unbearable. However, it was difficult to understand how I could be wired to dislike things about society that most people embrace with open arms.
The generation into which I was born is one of short attention spans and endless distractions. People today possess an inability to take a break from worrying about superficial things to focus instead on deeper topics. They brush off things like religion and moral questions because these concepts would make them uncomfortable. Unfortunately, by doing this, many are failing to discover who they are. For me, faith is the most important thing in my life. It was instilled in me as a child and is constantly affecting my choices in life. Because of this, I find it very difficult to truly get to know people who are content with ignoring it. This is one reason why I frequently feel like an outsider looking in while I go through life.
My personality also affects my tastes in music and social interactions. While most college students have branched out and started to find music that speaks to them, they still like new, different types of music being made in the present. For me, this is impossible. I mostly listen to music that was written in the 1960s and 1970s. Contemporary music is, for the most part, so discordant and offensive to my ears that I can’t sit in the same room while my friends are playing it. Similarly, a fun time to me might consist of playing cards, going for walks, or playing pool instead of dancing and blasting rave music. More than once I have been that guy that sits in the corner and refuses to dance again and again. Again, the old man in me keeps me from assimilating into society.
I’m not blind to the problems with this. It often makes me seem boring, cynical, and close-minded.
I’ve been told many times to just try to be more accepting. To let loose, etc. This is a constant struggle in my life. I literally have to force myself to take people seriously despite a negative first impression, or enjoy an activity even though I find it incredibly stupid. It takes every ounce of my patience to keep myself from punching someone in the face who sends texts in the middle of a conversation. The need to put every detail online feels pathetic and needy. And things like “selfies” annoy me more than they would if I were rational person, and not a stubborn curmudgeon (I found that word when I looked up ‘synonyms of grouch’ on Google, and thought it fitting).
To sum it up, I am a fan of technology when it expedites work, makes me more comfortable, or provides a hobby. However, when I actually see the effects that it has had on society, I tend to wish that most of the recent technological innovations were never created. I complain too much. I am horrible at hiding contempt. I let little things bother me. And I feel as though the percentage of idiots in this country, and all over the world, rises every year. So, why wouldn’t you want to meet me?